a personality system
What drives you?
What need are you trying to satisfy?
How are you trying to satisfy it?
Is it really working for you?
The Enneagram identifies 9
different types of strategies people use for getting their basic emotional needs satisfied.
When you know your personality type, initially in its simplicity (1 to 9) and later develop some familiarity
with it in its intricacy, you'll be able to identify your feelings and patterns of behaviour and become
increasingly conscious of them. You'll notice the difference between when you're stressed and when you're motivated
and be aware of the contrast.
Growing up, we learn ways to get our most basic needs satisfied and they work - for a time. We decide (in
our limited childish way) that to be OK (safe and cared for) we have to
- behave in a certain way,
- do certain things,
- please certain people and so on.
We have a limited view of the world and although these approaches are usually effective, they are very
simplistic solutions to the problem of coping in a confusing world we don't understand and where we seem to have
little or no power.
A default pattern
Ideally, we would use all 9 patterns but we rarely do. Generally we tend to fall back on just one or
two of them - those we've already learned as kids. They may serve us well part of the time, but often
they are just our default ways of reacting.
We don't even realise what we're doing because it's so natural that it falls below awareness. It has
become unconscious. As adults, the problem is that we still use these childhood patterns, often in
unhelpful ways and they defeat our purpose. Then we wonder why life's not working!
Take Type 6 - personal safety is of primary importance. It's a fall-back position, a default. As a
result, they're unconsciously always on the alert for potential danger. Looking for
what could go wrong.
"I know they said it was OK but is it really?
Are they mad at me and hiding it?
Are they going to get back at me later?
Have I missed something?"
On and on it goes, looking for the potential landmine and then finding ways to safeguard themselves 'just in case'.
I should know, this is my type!
free enneagram test
This is typical of Type 6 behaviour. And there really is a time and place for it. But not
all the time! When they are aware of this tendency, they can begin to question their own
doubt - it can be good to doubt the doubt!Discover your strengths
How can the Enneagram help
All is not lost! You can turn your Type around and make it into your personal and
unique strength - once you know what need you're trying to satisfy and how you've been mistakenly
going about it, until now. After all, you've become very masterful with your strategy!
Understanding your behaviour, you can begin to separate the pattern from who you really are. You are
NOT your Type. You've just learned to operate that way in the world.
Again referring to the Type 6 example, using the Enneagram patterns,
you'll discover the relationship between Types 6 and 9 and also the real value of Type 6
awareness and behaviour at its very best.
There are strengths in each of the Types and the system is much more intricate than a brief
example. At its simplest, you can benefit just from knowing your basic need and how you behave when you're
stressed and when you feel motivated and confident. That information alone is invaluable.
You could also ask the people closest to you to take the FREE Enneagram test too. Then you'll know the motivation
behind their way of seeing and interpreting the world.
When you understand that, you can communicate better. It also helps you know what each of you needs
and when you love, care about and appreciate each other, you can help each other satisfy those needs and
together, rise to the higher levels of your Types.
How can I discover my Enneagram
Learn about your personality type through the fascinating Enneagram system which identifies your way of
trying to get your highest priority need satisfied from among: integrity, love, value, identity,
competence, security, contentment, control, peace.
Take the FREE Enneagram test now.
Take charge of your emotions
This system offers a wonderful way to better understand yourself, your partner, your family and your friends.
When you know what need remains unsatisfied and how you've been trying to get it, then you can start to clear
up your past - where it all started - and take charge of your emotions.
This is where EFT and Hypnosis can be really
helpful. Both methods access long-held and often forgotten experiences from the past that were distressing at
the time and sort of 'got stuck' in your system. They can be released and once that's done, situations that
would have triggered you before no longer will.
The vital importance of motive
It's important to remember that what matters most is the motive for the
behaviour. Behaviours can be deceiving so it's wise not to assume that you know why someone is behaving the way
they are. Some behaviours could belong to more than one Type and it's the underlying motive that matters. Only
the individual doing the behaviour will know - and sometimes even they don't know!
Instead, use the information to try to understand them better and communicate more effectively rather
than to label and limit them.
And remember, do this for yourself as well!